DEAR TEMPO,
Tempo gets so much mail and email asking for advice. So here we start a column to give a bit of guidance and lots of love…
I am upset! I just got an application rejection from a university in Scotland, and then on the same day got rejected by an art gallery I wanted to exhibit my work in, and by a graphics design firm in London that I approached for an internship. Then there was an assignment that I knew was good for an A grade that the teacher marked down to a B. The worst part is that all this came together all at once. I am devastated. What would you do?
A.A
Dear A.A,
Feeling bad about rejection is understandable. Rejection is a one of the worst emotions we experience as human beings. However, you should bear in mind that rejection is also a part of success. Just like how failure is not the opposite of success, but a part of it.
Most of the time, rejection isn’t about you, and so you should not take it personally. It is often about logistics: a combination of time, ‘fit’, and circumstance.
Usually most of the pain of rejection is self-inflicted, which means we can lessen it’s ‘sting’ if we can learn to cope with it. The following tips can help you best handle rejection:
1. Do not criticize yourself. Going through your list of shortcomings and trying to find the reason is the wrong way to go. If you feel like you have made a genuine mistake, then consider what you can do differently next time.
2. Boost your sense of self-confidence. Try to think of at least five good qualities about yourself. Make a list and write them down.
3. Get in touch with someone you love. Now is the time to reach out for your social support system. As humans, we need social interaction with others and you need to remind yourself that just hearing your voice brings joy to many of the people who love you.
Rejection is inevitable, but knowing how to limit the amount of psychological damage it causes you is an art and will help you get so far ahead in life.
As for your B grade, ask yourself: ‘A year from now, will it matter?’ Remember that grades don’t measure intelligence or worthiness. It is very unlikely that it will have any impact on your future at all.
