By Nilofer Safdar
Stress is something that’s all too common nowadays, and the emotional strain compromises your quality of life. Stress can be linked to the possibility that you are not living the life you want. Here’s how you can tackle stress and embrace a truer you…
- Ask yourself, what is important to you? What do you desire in life? The place to start is to actually find out what you are looking for. As you remain in this state of enquiry, you will realize what is important to you is often different from what others expect from you and what you think you should have.
- Are you in alignment with yourself? Are you in alignment with what is important to you? If you are not, you will suffer increased stress and tension. As an example: I know someone for whom work life balance is very important. He has aligned this with his actions by keeping adequate family time. He makes sure that he finishes his work during office hours and does not work overtime.
- Do what works for you – If you are feeling stressed in any situation; something there is creating angst for you. Ask yourself, “Is this working for me? What here is not working for me?” Everyone will answer this question differently as everyone is different. What may work for one person will not work for another. Don’t compare yourself to others. If something is not working for you, acknowledge it. Think about what you can do to change it. One of my clients was a teacher who gave coaching classes. She was a one-woman show and did everything from marketing to registrations to teaching. She came to me exhausted and burnt out. Asking her the same questions revealed that she did not really want to do the marketing or registrations. All she wanted to do was to teach. Having this clarity allowed her to delegate those two jobs and now she is doing what she loves, teaching.
- Beyond perfectionism – The bug of perfectionism afflicts most people. This is limiting and puts one under unnecessary strain. What if you could let some things go? What if all that was required was to do the best that you could do – in any moment.
- What if there is nothing wrong? What if you slip into a spiral of negative thoughts, where you ask yourself: “Why is this always happening to me?” This occurs when we believe that only good things must happen, and not accept that there is an ebb and flow in life. There is no right or wrong here, it is what it is. When you slip into the negative spiral, ask yourself, “What’s right about this that I’m not getting?” Try repeating this over and over again and snapping into neutral mode.
- Do you incessantly criticize yourself? – Most people go through a litany of self-judgment that they deliver to themselves all day. If anything goes wrong anywhere they blame themselves. Blame can keep you stuck in self-criticism mode not allowing you to entertain other thoughts. Allow yourself to see your own value and develop self-esteem and self-worth.
- Consider what else is possible. Most people think that they have limited choices. And even when there are choices that are available, they feel that they must make the best of the worst choices. What if you reinterpreted those choices into “What else is possible that I haven’t considered?” When you live your life from this angle of enquiry, you will start to see totally different choices, which were not ‘available’ to you earlier. I was flying to India and when I went to the airport they told me that the flight was overbooked and that there was no seat for me. I asked them, “What else is possible now?” The lady made a few phone calls and I got upgraded to business class. One simple question unleashed a new – and better – option.
- Embrace your capacity to create – We all have an infinite capacity to create, however we get lost in the humdrum of day-to-day ‘getting by’ that we neglect this capacity. What can you create today that will be fun for you? What can you create today that you hadn’t even considered? What can you create today that will make you money? What can you create today beyond the capacities that you think you have? Tap into your creativity and don’t be afraid to add fun to life. Allow yourself to proactively create your life instead of living on default mode.
Nilofer Safdar is a Life Coach. Reach her on nilofer_light@yahoo.com
