Electronic Parenting
My rule is cut and dry: no TV and an hour of electronic interaction on weeknights, with more relaxed regulations on the weekends. Oh, how that rule gets tested! I face the modern parents’ classic dilemma: how and when do I need to limit my kids’ exposure to electronics? I am all befuddled.
We parents are bombarded with warnings about not encouraging a generation of obese couch potatoes. But, my girlz are physically active, ice-skating about 10 hours per week, plus off-ice training, PE at school and regular visits to the trampoline and parks. Shaking their booty? Yes, mine do.
We are told too much electronics affects grades and deters kids from doing homework. But mine sit down immediately when they get home every day, without being told, and do their homework thoroughly. Their grades make Mommy proud. Electronics are apparently not rotting their brains.
Experts warn us that access to electronics disturbs sleep patterns and leaves kids tired and insomniac. Sigh. Mine drop off like angels at 9:05 every night.
And, parents are frightened by studies that say kids are socially impaired because they do not interact with other kids or participate in activities after school. Yes, you guessed it, mine do yearbook, choir, drama, and skating. They are outgoing, funny, have friends, and enjoy a certain level of popularity amongst their peers. And to compound this, many of the games my girlz play on the iPad, such as Minecraft and Monopoly, they play together. Sometimes we have to tell them to pipe down as their gaming gets out of hand and they are screaming at each other. Socially turned on? Yup. And, by the way, Monopoly, the real game, costs Dh 140 new. The Ap? Dh 20. Ugh. No help.
Parents are lectured to model good behavior by abstaining from electronics themselves. But my writing, banking, bill paying, newsgathering and family connections are all online. The books I read all start with an “e.” I am exactly what I don’t want my kids to be!!
So what and where are the limits? An hour a day? Two? Does the time they spend online at school count? Does it count if they are texting me? If homework involves online research, does that count as well? And loom bands. My girlz love making loom bands. They often come to me after electronic time has finished to see if they can use YouTube to find instructive videos of new styles of loom bands to create. That’s the Internet as a tool, yes? What about playing Just Dance on the PS3? After half an hour they are a sweaty and out of breath. Is it electronic time or exercise time? It is a true conundrum. I lose sleep not because I am on my iPad too much, but because I am too worried if THEY are.
My mother told me to relax. “When you were young, I fought to get you to turn off the television. I thought for sure your Brady Bunch obsession would take over your life,” she says. At least they are playing strategy games. There is a certain amount of thinking involved. The girls are going the way of the future and are well armed for the expansion of the electronic age. What is a mom to do? Please, Tweet me your suggestions.
By Heather Long Vandevoorde, Ph.D
