When choosing to combine a career with motherhood, there will always be trade-offs and compromises. For many women this leads to “working Mom guilt” as they feel they are not spending enough time with their kids or doing enough for them.
But don’t let that stop you from achieving your career goals, whether you are an entrepreneur or working your way up in an organization. Remembering why you work can help you overcome working Mom’s guilt.
1) Create a list of reasons you work.
It is different for each person, but for me it is a combination of satisfaction, money and sanity! Giving birth to three kids in three and a half years while living overseas away from family, I found work gave me professional fulfillment, helped pay for the extra expenses of having a family and kept me sane. Has it been easy? No. Worth it? Absolutely.
2) Don’t compare yourself to other moms. Focus on doing what is best for your family.
Yes, it is true sometimes the scrutiny we receive from other mothers seems like they are the self-appointed parenting police. That combined with experts on TV and in magazines who bombard us with advice on how to be a super mom can make anyone feel inadequate. The fact is there is no right way to raise children. You have to do what is best for your family and circumstances. Sure you won’t make every concert, play or sports game, but that does not mean you love them any less. With everyone filming on smart phones these days, you can often see the missed event on video. I find this a great way to connect with kids as they see the pride in your eyes as you view it together. Plus they love seeing themselves on video.
3) Be fully present when you are with your children.
This means minimize the multi-tasking (so no checking work or personal emails on the phone while you are out with your kids). In a 24/7 working world, it is not easy to turn off from work, but it is important for your sanity and also for your children. By giving your full attention to them, you show your kids through your actions that they are important to you. Without a break from work, your productivity suffers on both ends. Now that it is summer time with kids home from school and many families taking vacations together, it is important to enjoy that quality time with your kids and create wonderful memories together.
Remember it is WHO we are for our children – happy, healthy role models – that will influence them more than what our house looks like or how many gadgets we have.
By Theresa Weber
@TheresaFWeber is President of @ACT_LLC, an international management consultancy. She has worked in 20+ countries advising businesses and non-profit organizations. ACT publishes MENA #WomeninBusiness Forum.
