There is one thing I don’t like about living here: dealing with goodbyes. I don’t believe I can ever be convinced to change my mind, and this is my warning to newcomers to expect, you will make friends…really good friends, and then one day a lightening bolt will hit you, because it will be time to say goodbye.
Last year my dear friend Robine went away to Capetown, Bijila went to Calgary, and then Anne went away to Cyprus, then Cindy went back to Boston, and now Angelique’s leaving.
Good byes are always sad, and so are the farewell events. Songs have been sung, short speeches recited, and lyrics changed to suit the sad occasion. I remember one of my friends putting up a hard exterior at the farewell lunch, then crying her heart out like a bruised seven year old.
What Friends Do
Friends give you hard doses of good advice, even those that you may not want. They have the freedom to say ‘shaadupp’ when you rave and rant for too long. I have a dear friend who cries bitterly over the terrible things she sees on TV, and even gets hysterical until we tell her “Enough! Stop watching television!” Friends can yell at you like that, without mincing words. They can tell you to hurry up if they catch you dilly-dallying, and quit if you’re on the wrong path. They have the extreme freedom to tell you if you are getting too fat, terribly thin, have stains on your shirt, smudged up eye shadow, cheeks that are too pink, or lipstick’s that’s too bright.
And the litmus test? You are absolutely okay with it.
They are your true mirrors, and you don’t mind it.
Why Friends Go?
Goodbyes are part of the expat movement of our city. People come and people go. They enjoy the good life here for a while and then they have to go back home. So are you telling me I must make new friends and start all over again?!
So this is the little treatise I got up to write in the middle of the night; my way of saying thank you to all those friends: for all the memories, the laughter and the tears, not to mention, for all our doubts and all our fears.
This is also a general thank you note to all the real friends out there, for just sticking up through trying times, for being there when the world looked weary and worn, for crying at the loss of a friend, for saying things would look up, even when things were really down.
True and lasting friendship can’t be measured by the miles, but by the heart. Yes, you can Skype, Facebook, and stay in touch via email, but you shouldn’t forget the great bard’s words “Keep thy friend, under thy own life’s key.”
By Marien Oomen
