We’re having a mother-daughter-daughter mani/pedi day. My girls said we HAVE TO look good. They will be attending a two-week figure skating camp in the US. “Mommy, we will be the exotic ones there. We’re from Abu Dhabi. Most people in the US don’t even know where that is. We must make a good impression,” they say. And now I’m supposed to comment on kids’ body images? Clearly I’m no expert. But, as with most everything, I have an opinion to share nonetheless.
I am all for having life-sized, not Barbie-shaped, models and actors. I’m fed up with airbrushed, anorexic public figures setting unattainable (even by them) “goals” for our children to pursue. I was thrilled when my kids talked about how they thought Fat Amy was the coolest character in the Pitch Perfect movies. She’s a plus-sized woman with self-confidence oozing out her pores. I am not advocating obesity at all, do not get me wrong. But, for me, poor body image is only a small part of a bigger problem: lack of self-confidence. If my girls want painted toes to feel more confident entering a camp where they know no one, I have no qualms. Give them the tools they need to succeed.
It’s more the kids who want the mani/pedis or particular sneakers to fit in or to be as cool as the cool kids that worry me. The ones who try too hard or change their entire personality based on traits they see in other, more popular kids, to be more liked will struggle their whole lives for self-identity, self-confidence, and, ultimately, happiness.
Parents can help snap a kid out of this cursed downward spiral by engaging kids in activities that interest them and force them to show their true selves. My girls are figure skaters. Each year they will perform up to seven routines each 90 seconds to two-minutes in duration, repeated over three or four competitions. During those routines they are alone on the ice with hundreds of people watching. That is where the true spirit comes out. When they have to decide how to cope with a fall, musical error, or faulty props, they are building self-confidence.
A strong sense of self-confidence wards off the things we most hope our kids can avoid, such as bullying, shyness and diseases like depression and anorexia.
I support throwing your kid into the mix – summer camps, sports, school musicals, spelling bees, art classes, anything that requires them to assert themselves and be recognized. And if you have girls, do not underestimate the power of a good mani/pedi!
By Dr. Heather Long Vandevoorde | @hvdvoorde
