…there are times when my male Neanderthal links are so evident…
…I think there’s a lot more to this DNA gig than folk realise… forget for a minute the obvious traits, such as physical body formation, human genome trails, generation to generation… the continuation of family likenesses and stuff I can accept in the wink of an eye… what about the behaviour patterns passed down through the millennia?… the instinctive reactions to situations?… methinks p’raps there’s more than a tad of that also gets permeated down through the DNA, all the way from the earliest ancient civilisations (some of which, by the way, seem a lot more civilised than the current lot) up to the modern day… now, yeez may be asking yourselves, ‘how does Master Gallacher arrive at these amazing deducements?’… elementary my dear What’s On… evidence of this ol’ Jurassic’s own behaviour on occasion… case in point yesterday… from time to time, I indulge a wee bit of paper shredding… none of yer Enron-style document-disposal ploys… more like old invoices and bills, no longer required… don’t want to throw them in the garbage collection wheelies, lest sumb’dy goes in search of industrial sabotage in my litter… a while back I purchased one of these modestly-priced shredder machines built to reduce yer household paper waste to strips of confetti … thing is, the maximum recommended ‘feed’ of paper into the bit at the top where the ‘teeth’are is six sheets of paper… of course, such suggestions fly in the face of the need to get the job done quickly… result, I try to stuff a dozen or so at a time into the mini-hopper… for the first few seconds, all is well… then the initial chewing-up process instantly gives way to a nasty, horrible, grinding noise… the blasted thing jams… with only a quarter-depth of the pages ripped… and stuck… the rest flutters out of the top of the machine, mocking my efforts at home waste management… the sensible course of action, naturally, would be to retrieve the papers, reverse the motion, and slim down the ‘feed’… right?… not a chance!… Neanderthal Being DNA takes over… I try harder to stuff the remainder of the mess into the chewer… with even worse consequences… the machine capitulates… cursing ensues…(and it’s not pretty)… it’s a ‘man’ thing, y’see… it’ll be alright in an hour or two when I’ve picked out all the wee bits hanging inside this machine… see yeez later… LUV YEEZ!…
The Blog is written by: Seamus Gallacher
