Birdsong brings relief
to my longing
I’m just as ecstatic as they are,
but with nothing to say!
Please universal soul, practice
some song or something through me!
by Rumi
To Kill a Mourning Dove
They say God gives
gone loved ones back
through symbols, images, and lucid dreams.
Never thought I’d pull the trigger of that weak BB gun
my close, distant cousin handed me that one weekend in 1994.
I pumped five extra times
so I could give that docile-looking bird
the good thumping it deserved
as it perched on the power line
above my grandparents’ house.
Thought it would thud on the ground
after the first fired pellet
but it either was in shock
or refused to be moved from its hatchlings nearby.
Had to hit it three more times
before it fell…
My mom called years later
and told me that she thinks of her mother
anytime she sees a small white butterfly.
That day she saw one,
a patch of God’s bed spread,
spread across her car windshield like a private message
carefully written specifically
to asking her to remember that time (fill in fond memory of your mother).
I listen to her story
slightly jealous because I have yet to find my symbol.
I get remorseful when I remember that
maybe I have already killed the sign of mine.
By Dorian “Paul D” Rogers
